My Love, My Soul
by fanficaddict
Summary: This is just a story about Tony's thoughts about Kate's death. I know it's been done so many times before but I just had to write it. Rated T for a little foul language.


My Love, My Soul

You were the one for me. God, it hurts so just to say you were. It hurts bad.

Since I met you, I have known, you were the one for me.

I did not want for you to know about how I felt about you. I did not know you feelings.

I couldn't risk my rejection. My heart has been broken so many times before.

It was you who saw though my act, my walls. They crumbled when you were not looking only to be put back up again when you looked into my eyes.

When I teased you and McGee so unmercifully, you put me back in my place. When I pulled seniority, you taught me otherwise.

You were like a daughter to Gibbs. He is taking it really hard. Keeps blaming himself. Gibbs, he is fueled on rage, revenge, and caffeine. He will not stop until Ari is brought to justice, till you can rest in peace.

You were like a older sister to McGee. You stood up for him when I picked on him. Now you're gone and he's all alone. Not that I have the will to tease him any further. It's just not the same.

Well, with Abby you were her some what twin. You both would be giggling behind our backs about girly stuff and ganged up on McGee, tricking him with you bets. You were the one person she could talk to. I can tell when I look into her eyes, it is as if she is missing a part of her soul.

You were also like a daughter to Ducky. It pained him so much when he saw you on the slab in the autopsy.

And to me… You were the most special to me.

Many could have considered us brother and sister. We were always arguing about little things.

In a way you were like a sister to me. A friend. But you weren't just that; you were much more.

I loved you. I realized that the first time I met you. I realized it when I was stricken down with the Plague.

You stayed with me even though you were fine. You risked your life for me. Just to make sure I wouldn't be alone.

I regret not telling you how I felt. I wished I had.

You were everything to us we all loved you in our own different ways. We were a family.

Ari tore us apart.

It was his fault!

I thought I had lost you when you were first shot.

But I heard you wonderful, laughing voice. Your melodious voice soothed my nerves at the thought of losing you.

I swore as soon as we got off the roof and away from Gibbs, I would tell you how I felt. I was so close to losing you.

One minute I was listening to you beautiful voice. The next I heard a shot ring out.

The next thing I knew, I saw blood spattered on me and blood pooling where you laid. Deathly still.

Gibbs looked around for the shooter, Ari, but I didn't notice. I was oblivious to all around me.

The second I saw your blood covering me, I knew you were dead.

You were taken from us, FROM ME! And thrown into the dark, cold, bottomless pit of death.

In a second you were snatched from us. The reaper reaching out and pulled you soul away, along with mine and part of Abby's.

It only took one bullet. ONE!

It was my fault, I should have seen Ari. I should have moved in front of you or pushed you down. I was too slow. I couldn't prevent it.

It is that damn bastard, Ari. He will pay for doing this to you. He will pay for all the suffering he caused us. He will pay for that look on Ducky's face when he saw you.

I wish you didn't leave us. I wish you didn't leave me.

I am so lost without you Katie. I miss you. I need you. You were my strength, my weakness, my love, my soul.

I wander aimlessly around the bullpen, trying to help Gibbs.

I feel so lost. I look over at McGee and I see him have the same look as Abby and Ducky have. When I look over at Gibbs, I see rage and sadness in his eyes.

See Katie? We all loved you in our own way. You were our glue. You were what tied us all together. Now that you are gone we are all lost.

I hope you are enjoying you're afterlife. You deserve to be happy. To have happiness.

I love you Katie. I don't know if you can hear me from where ever you are, but I just want you to know I love you. I wish I had told you before.

I won't ever forget you Kate. I will love you always and forever.

You are my love, my soul.

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Yes, I know that many have done fan fics like this one. Tony's thoughts about Kate's death. But I just wanted to write down what I thought he was thinking.

Please review to tell me if you think it is bad.

Your deeply sadden author by the death,

Fanficaddict


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